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Life & resilience / Pamela Topjian

I Wasn't Brave. I Was Just Numb.

Sep 23, 2026 · 36 min · Season 2, episode 27

Inside the conversation

The story behind the episode.

At 50, exhausted from two abusive marriages and a career spent taking care of everyone but herself, Pamela Topjian sold almost everything she owned, bought a one-way bus ticket, and left home not knowing where she'd land. Ten years later, she's a published author, a podcast host, and living what she calls the first equal, respectful marriage of her life.

In this episode, Pamela and Jason talk through the bus ride that changed everything, why she says she wasn't brave — just numb — and what actually happens in the years after you survive the thing that almost broke you.

About Pamela: She spent 14 years as a nurse before becoming a certified hypnotherapist and, later, a pet-sitting business owner. She's the author of two memoirs — "I Didn't Come This Far to Only Come This Far" and "Behind the Mask, Gloves, and Scrubs: One Nurse's Journey" — and hosts the Holistic Connections podcast, featuring conversations with holistic practitioners.

Find Pamela (verify these before publishing — pulled from what she said on the episode, not a separate bio page):
YouTube — her own channel, under the name Pamela Topjian
Instagram — @holisticconnections.pamela
Podcast — Holistic Connections, Conversations with Holistic Practitioners
Link tree — linktr.ee/PamelaTopjian
Books — search "Pamela Topjian" on Amazon

Follow the show for more conversations like this, or find every episode at mosaicmindspodcast.com.

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